Deep down, I fight this undying urge to “settle.” I think most wives and mothers would agree that it is something in our genetic make up. Especially after I began having kids, it became a stronger desire of mine. However, it was one of those things that I did not realize I was craving right away. At times, I was probably displaying the emotions of not feeling settled, unaware of what was really bothering me for a while.
Just in the past year, God has taught me a lot about “settling” and feeling comfortable. I am learning a lot about what it means to surrender to Christ and just how uncomfortable or unsettling Christianity can really be. Up until I was a young adult I had been under the impression that being a Christian was supposed to be comfortable and easy. While I followed all of the rules, I also lived in a guilt stricken world that I created. A place where I felt like I was not doing enough, and in doing so, constantly failing my God. It took me a while, but I finally realized that I was living a life similar to a Pharisee. Worried more about what I was or was not doing more that growing in my relationship with Christ.
This also opened my eyes to why I have my constant need to feel settled and comfortable. It was because I want to feel like I am in control. In our 9 years of marriage, we have lived in 9 different homes, in 5 different cities, in 4 different states. You can see why I might struggle with this whole settling thing…… Because of our frequent moves and our initial desire to even go overseas someday, I felt like I could never really feel settled where we were because I never knew when God might move us again. This has caused me to constantly focus on the future and what might be instead of just living in the now and letting God take care of whatever the future holds. Unfortunately, I feel like I have missed out on a lot of enjoyment and experiences in the many different places we have lived, and also moments within our family.
So I ask, “Does God want us to feel settled? Comfortable?” If you would have asked me a few years ago I would have replied yes without hesitation, and I would not have had much of an explanation of why. My answer now would also be yes, but that God wants me to find my self settled in Christ and looking to Him alone for comfort.
I have to ask myself the question, where in the Bible does it ever talk about the importance of being comfortable and settled? Where does it talk about how we are to be secure financially? Or give to the poor and help the needy, but only if it is comfortable for you? Did Jesus say to His disciples, “follow me, if you don’t have anything else you need to do…..”? He really just said “follow me.” Specifically, “As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.” (Matthew 4:18-20) Sometimes we read these passages and have the mindset of it only pertaining to those times. (Way back when……) I think at times we subconsciously think that these words are not specifically directed at Christians today. It seems we like to put a modern twist on things and pick and choose which passages apply today, and which ones were meant for only Bible times. These ARE Bible times!
Look at the example the disciples have given us of following Christ without hesitation. I know they were not perfect, but I am amazed at the lack of hesitation when Jesus said the words, “Follow me.” I am always one to analyze situations and decisions, and then….. analyze them more. I like for everything to be planned and written down. I love my schedule! I have to say that I am not so sure I would have been so quick to drop everything like the disciples. At least tell me where we are going and what I need to pack! Let me check my calendar first, I might have to reschedule some things…… Actually, can I get back to you on that? I will let you know tomorrow…..
On the subject of comfort, I do not think that Paul was really all that comfortable when he was in prison. Yet he continued to write to encourage other Christians and he continued to rely on Christ. He was able to see past his lack of physical comfort because he was so focused on Christ and completely dependent on Him. When he decided to follow Christ, he did just that! It was not just for a day or two, or as long as life seemed to be going well. He made the decision and did not look back. If following Christ is what he was going to do with his life, then he was going to do just that no matter what the circumstances.
If we love Christ, we follow Him. We do not worry what tomorrow will bring. Follow Him, trust Him, put your faith in Him alone. It is a battle of our flesh for sure. Our sinful selfish nature is constantly battling looking for that comfort and settled feeling. Our finances, our friends and family, our looks, what we eat, and where we work. (Galations 5:13-26.) God has been in the midst of teaching me these lessons of faith and trust in a big way over the last year. The more I learn and the more I read, the more it changes my mind and how I process the things of this life. I see myself coming to a place where once things might start to feel comfortable, then I really should re-evaluate my walk with Him. I think feeling settled and comfortable can be a dangerous place for Christians, because the more settled and comfortable we feel, the less we look to God to provide, give us answers, and teach us to become more like Him. It is the place where our flesh begins to take over again and the battle ensues. Galations 5:17 says, “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”
Our modern day society has made it very easy to forget what Christ commands of us. The more technology and comforts of life we gain, the further we drift from Him and his desire for our lives. We have become so completely distracted with everything that has nothing to do with Christ. We have become so adjusted to seeking out entertainment and the latest fads. Think about what has become every day life and “normal” for families. I have especially been convicted of what my time looks like when my kids are at home. Sure, I have to keep them “entertained” so to speak, but how can I thread the Word of God and Christ-like living in their hearts in everyday experiences? Just because we are coloring or doing puzzles does not mean we cannot talk about God. When we are cleaning the house or making meals I can still weave God’s Word and teaching into those activities. Does it take some thought and creativity? Yes! But just because it might not come natural does not mean I cannot do it! Parents today have to be more intentional than ever about how we teach God’s Word and thread it throughout our home. For those who have chosen to send their kids to public school, as we have, you understand this importance on an even larger scale. If we are saturating our children with His Word and Christ’s love at home then how much easier will it be for them to live it when they become older! If we can engrain these Godly principles and teach His Word now at a young age, then as they become older it will be instilled into their young hearts. I feel it is an enormous responsibility we have to our kids today, and I have let it overwhelm me and discourage me time and time again. It is also so easy to sit and do mindless activities at the end of my day as well. I am tired, and it is finally the quiet part of my day. So I recognized lately just how much time I can waste watching TV or on the internet. I guess what I have been pondering lately is, does God really have to be in EVERYTHING I do? Should everything I do point to Him? Well…….
In conclusion, I need to settle in Christ. When I can keep my focus on Him and let Him lead my life from day to day, I do not have to worry about what tomorrow might hold. He can become my ultimate comfort if I choose to let Him be. Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” I want Him to be in everything I do, and to be a constant reflection of His love. Luke 6:45, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
Valiant 